Osaka Cherokee

I walked into the bar last night and some guy I've never seen before yells out, "Oh my god a foreigner! And he's not handsome!" What a bastard! He was all drunk but that didn't stop me from being pissed off. I wanted to walk over and punch him in the face but this is Japan and I've become as docile as a baby bunny.

i was walking home from the station today and some lady that i sorta know that runs the liquor store by my house beckoned me into her store (of course your boy cherokee knows the liquour lady). i'm thinking she wants me to translate some english or whatever. well, i walk in and she hands me a drumstick. not the gross meat sorta drumstick, i'm talking about the good ol' fashioned ice cream drumstick.
how fucking cool is that? she saw me walking by and decided "hey, that guy needs some ice cream" and then hooked a brother up. my faith in japan has temporarily been restored.

man its friday and i had to call it a night after only two beers on account that i have to work tomorrow. its parents day and i have to be there to meet the parents and win them over with my charm. now as much as i love charming people i'd much rather sleep in and...um...do anything besides go to work.

i was riding home from the gym today and i rode past "the screamer". the screamer is my all time favorite wacko in town. he just rides his bike around screaming shit and shouting obcenities at people. when i rode by him he looked at me and yelled, "oi! omae doko ikun no?!" ("hey fucker, where you goin'?") this is the first time he has officially directed an insult to your truly. i feel like a regular member of town now.

in other news: the wayward pair of underwear that somehow fell off someone's ass and ended up on the classroom floor has yet to be claimed. a nice pair of white tighties has lost its owner. i'm still perplexed why the boy that had to have been walking around without his drawers on didn't notice. never a dull moment in the kindergarten.

Asashoryu, the Mongolian sumo wrestler, took home the Emperor's Cup yesterday. I love the fact that the last three dominating top ranked wrestlers have been foreginers (Akebono and Musashimaru both from Hawaii and now Asashoryu).

I went to the gym today and I saw two, count 'em, two people wearing white socks with their shorts. I couldn't believe it. I've never seen a country of people who wear colored socks with shorts in my entire life. It seems that white socks are only reserved for suit wearing here. A suit, white socks, and cheap shoes. Its the official work regalia of 90% of the business guys here.
Well, that's about it for today. The weekend is over. Tomorrow its back to gitty grind of the Japanese kindergarten.

I got up early and hit the gym at 10:30. I never work out well in the morning...especially since I was a little hungover.

I participated in a debate about Japanese politics last night at the bar. This one fool was saying that if North Korea and Japan were to go to war Japan could win without America's help. I was thinking if it wasn't for America this country would be known as East Korea and they'd be eating kimchee for breakfast and worshipping the Dear Leader. I didn't say it though. I figured I probably wouldn't be able to put that eloquently in Japanese.

Well...I gotta go figure out what to do with the rest of my Saturday.

somebody's friend's friend's friend from chicago was at my girlfriend's bar tonight. so of course they called me and asked me to come. its like, oh my god there's an american here, we gotta call cherokee. its like that line from big lebowski, "so you're a lebowski, i'm a lebowski, what do you want?" i guess that cat from chi town was alright. at least it was nice to speak english for a bit.
i can't believe that i rarely speak english in my life. imagine that? i probably speak english once a mohth. just try and fathom that. life is fucked up.

I saw a homeless guy getting a talking to by the police today. He had camped out in the middle of the station and wasn't moving. The cops, righfully so, were trying to get him to move. They kept asking him nicely, "Excuse me sir. You're blocking the way and causing a nuisance to pedestrians using the station. Do you think you could please move. Sir, please move." Of course the guy just kept sitting there (Its my "But I waaaaanna" philosophy of Japan in action). I watched the police for about five minutes before heading for my train. The way police handle things here is a tad different than in the good ol' U.S. of A. In America the cops maybe would've asked him once to move and after that the cop would put down his bottle of Thunderbird, pick up his baton, and physically remove the bum from his location. I'm not sure which one is right and which one is wrong. I suppose in America the rules matter and the punishment for not adhering to the rules are pretty clear. Here they only apply to proper chopstick use and taking your shoes off before you go in the house. And if you do get caught breaking the law you can usually get out of it by apologizing and promising to never do it again or just shaving your head.
Right after that I saw my favorite bum, Smiley the Happy Transient, sharing cigarettes and talking shit with another bum who had an amazing afro. I've never seen Afro Bum before. Maybe he's the new cat on the Osaka Bum Circuit (OBC). Perhaps he's replacing The Gnarly Old Goat Dude who unfortunately died last summer. R.I.P.

I just got back from the gym. I got a good work out in today. I didn't have to wait in line for old guys at the bench press today so that was nice. There were a lot of little guys in there today. For some reason that always makes me go harder. I feel like I'm breaking them with my lifts. I'm not saying I put up a lot of weight, I just put up more than the average Japanese guy.

I got the new Morrissey cd yesterday. I can't believe it has been seven years since he put out a cd. Its pretty good, typical Morrissey.

I just read an article about how the powers that be in Japan, after apparently years of deliberation, have finally accepted the fact that drinking water during exercise might actually be helpful in fending off heat stroke and dehydration. This is contrary to the previous notion that drinking water during physical activity will cause fatigue and diarrhea. Now they just have to start a committee to ascertain the facts about the longstanding belief that eating burnt meat causes cancer. The results should be back in June of 2029.

I brought cheese and crackers in my lunch today. Apparently Japanese kids have never seen a cracker because they were all losing their shit that I had packed "cookies" in my lunch. They almost fell outta their chairs when I put a piece of cheese on my "cookie" and ate it. I tried several times to explain that these were crackers, not cookies, but there is no use trying to reason with a group of five year-olds after they've made up their minds.

Oh yes, I got kancho-ed today by one of my students. For those of you not residing in the Land of the Rising Sun a little explanation is in order. A kancho is all the rage in Japan. If you would like to import this little cultural ditty from Japan I'll tell you how its done.
1. put your hands together and stick out your pointer fingers. your hands should look like you're holding a pistol with two hands.
2. sneak up on a unsuspecting friend
3. ram those two finger in your friends butthole as quickly and forcefully as you can.
4. run away and giggle.

I ended up at my girlfriend's house last night drinking with her dad. I really didn't mean to get drunk, it just sorta happened. I probably wouldn't drink so much if beer didn't taste so damn good. Anyway Aki, her dad, was telling me a bunch of shit about when he was a kid. He grew up on an island (Tojima) in the Pacific just a short boat ride from Toba City, Mie Prefecture. Anyway, the craziest thing he told me that one of his relatives got eaten by a shark. That's some crazy shit. Apparently it ate the guys entire lower half. Right after telling me that he was like, "You wanna go visit my hometown someday? We can go swimming and whatnot." Yeah, that's exactly what I wanna do after hearing about one of his family members getting ripped in half by a shark!

It's raining like a bitch today.
I drank a little too much at Tako-Roku last night and I'm feeling the effects of it today. I'd like to go out and get some fresh air but if I took a deep breath I'd probably die from rain inhalation (a serious killer in Bangladesh).
I stopped by the vegetable guy today to get some bananas. My girlfriend's dad was there and for no reason he gave me all the oranges he just bought. It was a nice gesture, but I was a little baffled. Oh well, I got some free oranges outta the deal. Like Big Jack Cain always says, "If it's free, take it!".

I went mountain climbing yesterday at Mt. Katsuragi. They guy I always go with, Hideaki Nakamura, is a mountain climbing guide. He said he could get me a job as an assistant guide if I wanted. Its only like twice a month but I get paid like 5000 yen and I get to go to an array of mountains for free. So of course I want to. I'd do it for free. He's gonna ask at the next meeting. So I'm crossing my fingers that everything will be cool.

Well, its off to the gym now... Gotta put a little more work into these puny shoulders of mine.