Osaka Cherokee

I just read on BBC that some software company in England is making a computer game based on John Kerry's Swift Boat mission in Vietnam. Check it out here. Of course somebody would probably like to make a game simulationg the actions of Bushy's time in the National Guard but you wouldn't need a lot of computer programming expertise to make that game. A blank piece of paper with beer spilled on it would pretty much wrap it up.



Song of the Day: The Greenhornes- Sad Day (Rolling Stones cover)
This song was included on a mix CD given to me by Sean Wilson.

Apparently there's a typhoon bearing down on the Osaka area. Now when I hear that a typhoon is coming I just see it for what it really is, a storm of no particular danger that might get me a day off of work On the other side of the spectrum is my father-in-law. To him a typhoon is nearly as catastrophic as the coming of the apocalypse. He's called me up saying that I have to get out of my apartment (my wife is already over there) because I have big glass doors going out onto my balcony and something is going to come flying through the window and kill or maim me.


What I say to you, I say to everyone: ´Watch!'" Mark 13:37

Another great webpage that I stumbled upon.

I got to the station this morning and there was an ambulance out front with the stretcher out on the ground. I figured some old lady had a heart attack or some kid got a little too close to the track as the rapid went by and lost a finger or two. Nope. There was some high school kid that had got punched in the face. Why in god's name would you call the ambulance because somebody got punched in the face? I bet the kid went and told the police that he got whooped. I'll tell you what, if I ever lost a fight (like that'd ever happen) the last thing I'd do is tell anybody. If you get your ass whooped you put on a pair of sunglasses, take it like a man, and go about your business. Hell, there's a good chance if you got your ass beat that you deserved it anyway. I'd say about 90% of the ass whoopings I've seen in my life the loser got exactly what was coming to him.
Moving on... On the way home from work today I saw the world's greatest invention, the kid leash. I haven't seen one of those bad boys in a long time. Those things are the epitome of man's cruelness to kids and the greatest thing ever conceived all rolled into one. I'll tell you what, if you got a monkey ass kid you should have the little monster on a leash. If I ever breed and I have a monkey ass kid (there's a very good chance this will happen) I will put it on a leash in a heartbeat. Remember that episode of Saturday Night Live where Mike Myers is leashed to the monkey bars? That shit was funny as hell.



Song of the Day: The Concretes- "You Can't Hurry Love"

Every week at basketball we choose teams by janken (rock, paper, scissors) and if there are more than five people on a team the we use janken to see who sits out and who plays. I shit you not, I lose and have to sit out the first game every single week. Japanese people are always telling me I suck at janken. At first I thought this was complete bullshit but I'm starting to believe it now. After all, this country did invent the game hundreds if not thousands of years ago. How in the hell can I be bad at the stupid game? I'm gonna play myself in the mirror or something until I get better.



Song of the Moment: Black Sabbath- "Wicked World" from the 'Live at Last' CD.

I just realized that I have been eating way too much natto lately. Natto is a traditional Japanese food made from fermented soybeans. It looks and smells a lot like vomit but it tastes oh so good! Besides that, its also healthy as hell. I'm only one of two foreigners that I know that will eat it. Most foreigners won't even go near it. Anyway, back to my point. I just walked into my apartment and I was engulfed in the smell of natto. I think I eat it so much that its starting to permeate into the walls. I think its time to cut back a little.



Song of the Day: Dee Dee King- "Funkyman"

Well I'm done with Sports Day for another year. Actually it wasn't as bad as I figured it would be.

My boy Dan and I got some Indian food at Aja Kaja, the dopest restaurant in the world. That shit was off the hook as usual.
Looks like we'll be off to Jim Mitchell's for a couple of pitchers here in a minute.



Song of the Day: Scarface- "Til I Saw a Man Die"

I got in another good workout at the gym today. That's two good ones in a row. Looks like I'll be back down to my fighting weight soon.

Well, tomorrow is Sports Day at school. I'm not going to tell you how awful it is that I have to get up at 6:00 a.m. so I can go stand in the sun all day and watch the poor kids march around like drones. Instead I'm going to focus on the positive aspect of the day. I'm so happy that I don't have to wear the official teacher uniform (blue athletic pants, white polo shirt with a PINK collar, and a white hat with a visor so big it could double as a helipad) because they don't have any in my size. See! Sometimes being a big man has its advantages.

Song of the Day: MC Hawking- "Fuck the Creationists"

Here's a little article about the wonderful Japanese education system. Hey, if you're teacher says the sun revolves around the earth then I guess it's has to be true.

In other news, today is the first day of fall. So what does that mean?
The leaves are starting to change? Nope!
Its getting cooler? Not quite.
The ice cream store's are closing? Wrong again.
It means that today is a national holiday and I get the day off work. My faith in Japan has been restored if not only temporarily! Woohoo! I love Japan!

Song of the Day: Jane's Addiction- "Ain't No Right"

I got up early and rode my bike to Mt. Kongo, climbed it, and came back. Its a little over twenty miles from my house. It would've been a piece of cake if it wasn't for the fact that the last ten miles is through the mountains and is completely up hill. Not like a little bit of a grade we're talking some serious gradient. I would say its like climbing up a parking garage for ten miles. Then of course after going through that hell there's 3500 ft of mountain to climb! After I got to the top I was completely drenched in sweat but it was a good feeling knowing that the worst was behind me. The ride home was great. Ten miles of curvy downhill. I was doing well over 30 mph the whole way. What took well over an hour to climb was finished in about fifteen minutes of pure joy! The whole ordeal took exactly six hours.
Oh yeah, just to mention I did all this a day after trekking up a 10,000 foot mountain. It probably would've been a lot easier going today if my legs weren't feeling it a little worn out from the day before.

Song of the Day: Neko Case- "Set Out Running"

I just got back from my mountain gig. It was pretty dope. I wish we didn't have to stop so fucking often for cigarette breaks. I've said it before and I'll say it again, there is nothing in the world more time wasting than cigarette smoking. The only other annoying thing is the main guide guy kept saying shit like, "women really like that path over there because its really easy", "that mountain over there is a favorite for women cuz its easy to climb", and my personal favorite "look at those two mountains over there. They look like a couple of tits!" god damn this country is so fifty years behind.
We saw a bunch of ptarmigan (raicho in Japanese), some sort of grouse, up there. I guess they're really rare. They just looked like fat pidgeons to me. Everybody else was going fucking nuts about 'em.
One last thing that was cool besides just the hiking was that there were two people in my group that spoke English. One was fluent because she lived in America and Canada for ten years. She actually lived in Rochester, Michigan for a couple years. Talk about a small world!

Well anyway, its bedtime for bonzo.

song of the day: Irish Rovers- "Donald Where's Your Trousers"

Johnny Ramone is dead. I can't believe it. Why do great rockers have to go while people like Michael Bolton and Barbara Streisand live to be 150 years-old?

Mr. Ramone once described his guitar style as "pure, white rock 'n' roll, with no blues influence." "I wanted our sound to be as original as possible,'' he said. "I stopped listening to everything."


I got some good beer gardening in last night. Today is the final day and normally I'd be there to close the place up in style but alas I have to head out for my alpine guide gig. I'll be trekking up Tateyama (Mt. Tate), one of the three most sacred mountains of Japan along with Mt. Fuji and Mt. Hakusan.

Song of the Day: The Ramones- "Here Today, Gone Tomorrow"

I just went and looked at a new apartment. Looks like I've made up my mind and I'm moving in November. The new place is a lot bigger and the same amount of rent. I guess I can't beat that, eh? Its completely Japanese style which will satisfy my dad when he comes and visits.

I just wanted to throw that out there.

Here's an article I read about swing voters. Totally bizarre all the research and energy that goes into seeking these people out. I like that fact that one of the characteristics of a swing voters is that they listen to country music. I got a little chuckle outta that.
"Hey Joey Joe Joe, who you gonna vote fer?"
"Leave me alone, I'm looking fer my Randy Travis tape!"

Here's a perfect example of how absolutely stupid some people are.

Anyway... Some guy was giving my wife the lowdown on how black people came to be enslaved in Europe and the new world. He said its because black people have big penises so the white women were all choosing black men instead of their white brethren. So the white people made the black peoples slaves to get back at them for taking all their women.

First of all this guy is so fucking full of shit that he had to have made the story up himself in his head. And then he has the cajones to walk around saying shit like he knows what he's talking about. I hate people like this.


song of the day: The Smiths- "Frankly Mr. Shankly"

There were two guys in the gym wrestling today. I have no idea why. I think it was supposed to be Judo or something but it looked more like those "Backyard Rassling" videos. The best part was it was a big fat guy vs. some little scrawny fellow. It reminded me of my and Kirk's wrestling bouts when we were roommates in college. Unfortunately nobody was put in the "Display Case" today (you had to be there to get this one).

Well married life goes on unabated. Its pretty much the same as before except that now I only have to do half as much cleaning and I don't have to go shopping. I do have to wash very very tiny shirts and pants though. Every time I grab one of her shirts I'm like, "Who the hell could fit into something this small?". I wore bigger clothes when I was a fetus!

I've been checking out the new CD by The Black Keys. I highly recommend it. Its not as "raw" as their old stuff but its pretty good.

Song of the day: The Black Keys- "Grown so Ugly"

Just got in a good workout at the gym. I'm back at the Spartan-esque gym I started at two years ago before I switched to the fancy pants gym one town over. It's kinda nice getting back to basics. The lack of anything female is kind of a let down though. I've been able to catch up with a lot of my old students who are working out there though. Its amazing that a lot of the kids that were complete assholes back in school are really nice and polite now. Maybe its cuz we're not in the classroom now and I could tie 'em up with the pull-down cord and kick the shit out or them.

Oh yeah, one more thing. Its local election time here in Japan again. So that means starting at 8:00 every morning until dark the campaigners are out driving their little vans with the loud speaker on top. Now don't get me wrong, I kind of dig this grassroots approach to politics but of course this is Japan and it wouldn't be Japan if there was something awry about it. First thing is that they blare their message at about the same decibel level as two fighter jets full of crying babies taking off in the middle of a Metallica concert! I swear to god, one of those things goes by three blocks away and I have to stop class cuz the kids can't hear what I'm saying. The other annoying part about the whole thing is the people say absolutely nothing even resembling relevant. All they say is "Tanaka, Tanaka de gozaimasu. Yoroshiku onegai itashimasu" (My name is Tanaka, that's Tanaka. Nice to meet you.) over and over and over and over again. My friend Belinda made a good point that if she could vote in Japan she would vote for the candidate that didn't partake in this bullshit. But I don't know if any of them don't do it. Good chance that in the land that "do your own thing" forgot that nobody is breaking the mold on this one.

Song of the moment: Buddy Guy- "Damn Right I Got the Blues"

Dick Cheney says,

(9/7/2004) "It's absolutely essential that eight weeks from today, on Nov. 2, we make the right choice, because if we make the wrong choice then the danger is that we'll get hit again and we'll be hit in a way that will be devastating from the standpoint of the United States."

(9/10/2004) "I did not say if Kerry is elected, we will be hit by a terrorist attack,"


Well I gotta get ready to go hiking now.

I just found out that the 1,oooth U.S. soldier died in Iraq. Is that a "milestone" as one nightly news anchorman stated or is it a wake up call? I hope its the latter. Maybe the average American didn't notice when the 873rd soldier died but now with a good four digit number to stare at Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Patriot might start thinking about why on earth are our young men and women dying for?

I saw 'Fahrenheit 9/11' a couple days ago. Good work Mr. Moore. I must admit that I liked 'Bowling for Columbine' more though.

I got my application for my absentee ballot in the mail. I gotta figure out if I need to get a notary to witness my signature like the paper says or just send it in as my friend Ben says. Either way I'm getting that in so I can make sure that John Kerry gets my vote.

Song of the Moment: Jay Z- "99 Problems" I've never heard a Jay Z song in my life. I was flipping through the channels when I was back in Michigan and I noticed Rick Rubin so I stopped. Little did I know it was gonna be a Jay Z video for "99 Problems". Its a dope video and a catchy song.

I saw a couple guys weed whacking along a fence that ran along the sidewalk near the bus stop where I take the bus to work. Fuuuuuuuuck, you'd think they were disarming a bomb with the production they had going on. They had cones up and down the entire length of the street. Of course they were all clad in their uniforms complete with hard hats. They had one guy weed whacking, one guy...um...I don't quite know what he was there for, some guy two blocks away with a blower blowing shit in a place where they didn't even do anything, and two old guys directing pedestrian traffic past the malay. I was sitting there watching the inefficiency in action when I thought that if this were America you could get a fourteen year old kid to do the whole damn job for you in a half an hour for five bucks.
We got hit by two big earthquakes last night and a little one this morning. The ones last night were no joke. I was out during the first one but when I got home my things were strewn all over my apartment. Then the second one hit just as I finished putting stuff back and I actually got to watch my shit being thrown all over the place. These were by far the worst ones we've had since I've been here. I love the tension of an earthquake especially if you're with a Japanese person. They always have this "this might be the big one that kills us all" look in their eye. Me, I kinda dig 'em except for the fact that sometimes they make me sea sick.

Well I'm back in Japan after a month long stint in the states. It was nice to see all my friends and family for a longer period of time. I got to a lot more than usual this time around.
Of course it wouldn't have been half as cool if it wasn't for the kindness of my friends. So many people hooked me up with hotels, dinners, and whatnot. Thanks to Jeff and Lindsay for hooking me and my wife up with a hotel and dinner in Frankenmuth. Shout out to Shawn for getting us a hotel in Chicago and for buying my wife a Chicago Cubs shirt. Thank you to Dave Klemkow for being the reverend at my wedding. I gotta give a holler to Steve and Sandra Hansen for taking us around the farm and having us over for an awesome dinner. I can't forget my little cousin Ian for getting us Lynrd Skynrd tickets. Thanks little buddy! Thanks to Sam, Dan, and Jason for taking Takami out while I was at my high school reunion. Thanks to Kirk and Alison for letting us stay at their place and making us breakfast the next day. Thanks to Nate and Kim Gayeski for letting us stay at their place in Chicago. Thanks to Mateo and his wife for coming up all the way from St. Louis for my wedding. Arigatou to the Hanashiros for taking us out to dinner than having us over for dinner and taking us shopping the next day. A special thanks to Mrs. Hanashiro for showing Takami that living in America isn't as difficult as she thinks it is.
Thats about all I can think of now. I'll add some later if I remember someone I forgot.

I'm having mixed feelings about being back in Japan. I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be here. The adventure is gone. I'm want to move on to another adventure or maybe just settle down a bit. The thought of my dad living by himself is really getting me down. I can't help feeling selfish living half-way around the world while he's trying to manage shit by himself back in the states.

I went to basketball tonight. Lemme tell ya a whole month of drinking beer and eating out takes its toll. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be though. I didn't get winded but my legs gave out towards the end. I hope to be back down to my fighting weight in a month or so. The process might quicken if I could get rid of this damn jet lag. I've never had it this bad before.

That's about all I got.