Osaka Cherokee

I gotta tell y'all about the Japanese phenomenon known as gate ball. Its the Japanese version of croquet played by the ever expanding senior citizen clique here. Its played on a level dirt area about 100 square feet thus making it the least challenging pseudo-sport on the planet. I know you gotta be saying, "A level dirt area! What the fuck!?"

Now since I was an official member of the H.A.C.B.A. (Hansen Amateur Croquet and Bocce Association) and you have an idea of how croquet really should be played. But for those of you who don't let me lay it on you. You need a minimum of 2 acres (that's good ol' American acres. Not hectares, or square meters, or any other measurement based on the logical division of 10.) of land but preferably more. The area needs to be full of obstacles such as trees, hills, lawnmowers, dogs, wheel barrows, flowers, gardens (with or without shotgunned off brussel sprouts), woodchuck holes, a creek, turn-around driveway, a barn, several sheds, wood piles, etc. And though its not in the official rule book its a good idea to have a couple of active bee hives so you have a good place to send somebody's ball. You also need a decent supply of alcohol and Mrs. Hansen's home cooking. And last but not least you're gonna need about six hours of daylight cuz to do this shit right it takes time my friends.

Song of the Day: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club- Devil's Waitin'

I'm gonna lay it on you. Red wine is my newest vice. I cannot escape its crimson grip. Its like a train ride through erudition that ends in idiocy. No substance on earth sends me through the whole spectrum of human intelligence like this. Two or three glasses into the night I'm quoting Aristotle and solving differential equations then two hours later I can't remember how to tie my shoes. At least I stay coherent through the whole experience.

The best part of this whole deal tonight is that the powers that be delegated me in charge of watching my two and half year old niece, Mayaka (aka Spanky). This is an experiment in insanity all in itself. Every thing I let the kid play with is apparently wrong. She was just playing with a tape measure and her mom yelled at her for playing with it and me for letting her play with it. What the fuck? Its just a tape measure. Its not like I was letting her play with a chainsaw or something. Hell, its her fault for putting her daughter's life in the hands of a drunk idiot. What does she expect? I grew up in the Jack Cain school of parenting, "Let 'em hurt himself, he won't do it again!". That's the only way to do it as far as I'm concerned.

Song of the Day: Korn- Blind

Did an eight mile hike yesterday with Takami and my friend, Fumiyo. Started in Ashiya, did a little rock climbing over to Mt. Rokko, and then down the other side to Arima and a hot spring. Good hike except that I lost my wife and had to run up and down the mountain three times looking for her. Eventually found her and after a few tears (hers not mine) we were on our way again.

I climbed Mt. Kongo today. My fourtieth time! There was about four inches of snow to trudge through but it was still cool as hell. I really need to get some good winter hiking gear though. I'm losing my Michigan-ness and I'm becoming a puss in the cold.

Song of the Day: Damien Rice- "Older Chests"

Well, I've solidified my place in movie history. Ok, maybe not but I did go and do that movie. Shit was pretty dope. a lot of standing around doing nothing all day. I met a couple other round-eyes who have an eye for idiocy like I do and we pretty much fucked around on the set all day. One guy brought a football. The Japanese were a little freaked out by a bunch of tall fuckers in German army uniforms throwing a strange ball around. Another highlight was all the free bread and coffee. I must've ate fifty pieces of bread.
yet another highlight were all the locals who came by to watch it being made. I'm sure they were trying to see ken Matsudaira or some other star but instead they got me. I just went up and talked to them and signed a bunch of autographs and pictures and the whole deal. I think they thought I was some big star or something. And in many ways I am. Totally bizarre experience though, having dozens of Japanese people crowding around trying to get an autograph of some dumbass. Oh yeah, I took a little extra time to take some pictures with and sign some autographs for a group of mentally handicapped people that came to watch. BINGO! I'm back to even on the karma scale.






Song of the Day: Rolling Stones- Think