Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Gate Ball
I gotta tell y'all about the Japanese phenomenon known as gate ball. Its the Japanese version of croquet played by the ever expanding senior citizen clique here. Its played on a level dirt area about 100 square feet thus making it the least challenging pseudo-sport on the planet. I know you gotta be saying, "A level dirt area! What the fuck!?"
Now since I was an official member of the H.A.C.B.A. (Hansen Amateur Croquet and Bocce Association) and you have an idea of how croquet really should be played. But for those of you who don't let me lay it on you. You need a minimum of 2 acres (that's good ol' American acres. Not hectares, or square meters, or any other measurement based on the logical division of 10.) of land but preferably more. The area needs to be full of obstacles such as trees, hills, lawnmowers, dogs, wheel barrows, flowers, gardens (with or without shotgunned off brussel sprouts), woodchuck holes, a creek, turn-around driveway, a barn, several sheds, wood piles, etc. And though its not in the official rule book its a good idea to have a couple of active bee hives so you have a good place to send somebody's ball. You also need a decent supply of alcohol and Mrs. Hansen's home cooking. And last but not least you're gonna need about six hours of daylight cuz to do this shit right it takes time my friends.
Song of the Day: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club- Devil's Waitin'
Now since I was an official member of the H.A.C.B.A. (Hansen Amateur Croquet and Bocce Association) and you have an idea of how croquet really should be played. But for those of you who don't let me lay it on you. You need a minimum of 2 acres (that's good ol' American acres. Not hectares, or square meters, or any other measurement based on the logical division of 10.) of land but preferably more. The area needs to be full of obstacles such as trees, hills, lawnmowers, dogs, wheel barrows, flowers, gardens (with or without shotgunned off brussel sprouts), woodchuck holes, a creek, turn-around driveway, a barn, several sheds, wood piles, etc. And though its not in the official rule book its a good idea to have a couple of active bee hives so you have a good place to send somebody's ball. You also need a decent supply of alcohol and Mrs. Hansen's home cooking. And last but not least you're gonna need about six hours of daylight cuz to do this shit right it takes time my friends.
Song of the Day: Black Rebel Motorcycle Club- Devil's Waitin'
# posted by Unknown : 8:29 PM
