Osaka Cherokee

Now this is the funniest email of the year. This one comes again from our boy Big Jack.


"How are you playing football? I did not see or sign a permission slip. Did you forge my name?"



I laughed so hard I farted when I read this. The thing is I'm sure he wrote it as a joke but when he first read I was playing football he probably actually thought, "wait a minute. i didn't sign any permission slip for him to play. Oh wait, he's 30 years old now." Big Jack has the problem of still thinking I'm 8. Every time I talk about riding a bike he says, "yeah, I bet you'll ride it then jump of the back of it and let it roll down the road and crash." we used to call that ghost riding. I haven't done it since the second grade when I was riding a Huffy Challenger 3000 bmx bike around Hidden Lake trailer park on 32 mile and Rochester Rd.. But in my dad's head I'm still doing that.

Had another football practice today. Damn that shit is awesome. My uniform pants were covered in blood (my own). John madden would be proud. I had a quarter back sack, knocked down a pass, and had about a dozen tackles. I think I'm doing fine even without the cleats.
On the train ride back the guy in a suit across from me was looking at me kind of weird. I guess the blonde hair, blue eyes, unkept lambchops, sunburned face, and blood dripping from my knees down my legs made him realize that him and I don't traverse in the same circles.

Oh yeah, here's the team's website.

They took my picture today to put on there but I don't know when it'll be up. My boy Joe's pic is on there from when he played last year.

I went to try and get some football cleats today and no store in the whole fucking mall had my size. Its not like size 12's are fucking ginormous or anything. Everything I go in and ask if they have 12's (30 cm) they look at me like I'm a fucking freak of nature. I understand that they are bigger than the average sized Japanese foot but its not so big that I should be treated like a mutant. I'm sure if I guy walked into an American shoe store and asked for a size 15 they'd be able to accommodate him with at least one shoe type in his size.

Today is the last day of the election campaigns for city council or as I like to call it "noise pollution from hell". This year is particularly bad. Those fuckers are out driving around blasting their slogans, wait I mean names over and over and over ad infinitum, around the fucking clock. That is except for the good ol' communist party. Apparently they couldn't come up with enough cash, or couldn't come up with enough distribution of labor since cash is erroneous to their ideals, to buy a vehicle so they are out there on foot. Good for them. Keeping with their proletariat stance. If I were allowed to vote I think I'd go down and vote for them since they noise pollution was limited to the smallest area. Maybe I'll tape my eyes slanty, cut myself off at the knees, get a rod Stewart haircut, don a pink shirt that says "fResH LifE FAst luv gimmegiMMe!", a real shiny belt, and act like I'm a tough guy, and maybe they won't even notice I'm not Japanese. I'll let you know how that goes.

Song of the Day: Reagan youth- 'Jesus was a Communist'