Osaka Cherokee

I went to some indoor playground thing yesterday with some of my ex students and their moms. Shit was pretty cool. A ton of fucking little Japanese kids running around but that should be expected at a playground in Japan. I walked around for about ten minutes and all I wanted to do was PLAY PLAY PLAY! I didn't see any other adults running around so I was thinking maybe it wasn't a good idea for a 6'5" white guy to all of a sudden start playing on the monkey bars, jumping on the trampoline, etc. I walked up to one of the moms who was standing next to this rope net climbing thing. I looked at her and she looked back and we both knew what the other was thinking. I was like, "Race ya bitch!" and we both took off. All you saw were kids holding on to the net in desperation. That broke the seal. I spent the next hour running around like a crazy man.

Last night I found myself in front of a TV that was tuned into regular Japanese TV. Usually I scream and run away but this time I decided to see what was up cuz the announcer said something about a pushup contest. No red blooded American male can turn down the chance to watch other men engage in a pushup contest. The deal was that they had to do as many as they could in two minutes. So the buzzer goes off and these fuckers start doing GIRL PUSHUPS! Are you fucking kidding me?! Aaaaaaaaaaah!! I wanted to run out and punch myself in the balls. Why why why! Japanese men, why do you have to be such pansy asses? I would respect any man that did five real pushups over 200 girl pushups any day.
Girl pushups are for girls. Now that would've been something. Watching a bunch of Japanese women doing girl pushups. I would just sat there with a half-boner and licked my lips.

Song of the Day: Empty Orchestra- A Sense of Place